Lyrics by Brock Wilcox.
Performance and music composition by Brock Wilcox, Elizabeth Mastry, Jason Woys, Erik Summerfield (at least!).

Please share, copy, and modify, under the terms of Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike (CC BY-SA)!

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Chorus: G D C G / G D CD G
Verse: G4 C4 D2 C2 G*3

Chorus:
I don't believe in umbrellas,
umbrellas,
umbrellas,
I don't believe in umbrellas,
Because they don't exist!

My friend had an umbrella,
He opened it indoors,
Next thing he knew
away it flew
and the ceiling fell to the floor!

chorus 'cause they don't believe in me!

My friend had an umbrella,
He threw it at my head,
Next thing I knew
It flew right through,
And hit the wall instead!

chorus though they believe in me

horn interlude

I once bought an umbrella,
From a guy named Stan,
I said "what's the deal?!"
"This thing ain't real!"
And he just turned and ran!

chorus though I suppose they might exist

horn

Bonus or alternate verses

What's with those umbrellas?
Are they apparel, or a roof?
They walk the line,
You can't define,
That's just further proof!